Makar Sankranti just passed, and we’re well into the New Year! Wait, what? You don’t know what Makar Sankranti is? Well, it’s a Hindu festival to celebrate the passing of winter! It’s like a New Year’s party for Indians. You must be an uncultured fuck; you know that? But don’t worry. You’re about to get real fucking cultured.
Have you heard of Alohatube.com? “Aloha what? PornDude, I don’t pay much attention to the names of these tube sites. I just type whatever I want into Google and jerk off to whatever comes up!” See, that’s where you’re wrong, my friend. With that attitude, you’ll never find the best videos a site has to offer. And there are a lot of websites with a lot to offer. Do you want to remain a low-tier porn consumer forever? No? Then get cultured!
Alohatube.com is a humble porn aggregator with thousands of videos uploaded every day. The site is updated every 5 minutes! You couldn’t jerk off to the daily uploads if you had two dicks!
See? You would have never known that if you just jumped on it for 5 minutes to jerk off to someone’s sister. And with this site, you’re going to be doing that a lot! Alohatube.com has some of the rawest amateur content I’ve ever seen. Some of the bitches on here probably don’t even know they’re being filmed! So there’s a good chance you might find your mom on here!
Thousands of attention-thirsty whores upload to the internet every day, and Alohatube scours the web and pulls it to their site. We’re not talking about professional whores here either. No Cassidy Banks or Stormy Daniels. We’re talking about the real fucking whores. The kind of whores that don’t fuck for money; they fuck for fun. The kind of whores you see every day and would never imagine they enjoy taking dick from a stranger in the park.
And where are the thousands of unsuspecting whores uploading their filthy adventures every day? Well, India is where! That’s right, my freaky friend! We’re going south today, and I don’t just mean your cock. Thousands of videos of Indian whores are uploaded every day on this site for your cock to taste Indian cuisine! And no, this isn’t the hot Indian pornstar living in LA. This isn’t Sunny Leone we’re talking about. These are real fucking Punjabi screaming whores. So, grab that Bhagavadgita you were scammed into buying and put it under a pillow. It’s about to get really fucking unholy.
Simple and sexy
Alohatube.com doesn’t try to be anything it’s not. Its job is to collect all the videos uploaded by attention-hungry sluts, and that’s it. So there are no bells and whistles here. Unlike on many other sites, you’ll notice that there’s no convoluted collection of tabs and buttons anywhere on the page. In fact, there isn’t really much of anything.
You’ll see a banner with a search bar and three tabs: “Categories,” “Top Rated Movies,” and “New Movies.” (They call videos movies. That’s fucking cute.) Under that, you’ll find an entire page of all of the world’s most desperate whores — a whole fucking page of them. The first of hundreds!
There are no ads on the side, no ads sprinkled in between the thumbnails and no fucking pop-ups. None. There’s one banner ad at the bottom of the page, though, where any site that cares about you would put them.
The first page of the site is a list of categories with thumbnails. The pictures of the thumbnails aren’t anything special. They’re actually kind of underwhelming. They are pixelated ambiguous snippets of videos from the site. But, what the fuck did you expect? These aren’t professional pornos.
The amount of categories this site has is absolutely fucking unruly! I haven’t seen this many categories in a while! You’ll find pretty much anything you could ever look for on this one fucking page! Have you got a thing for lesbians and older women? You can see that in the “mature lesbians” category. How about watching girls get creampied and having another girl suck it out of their pussy? The “cum swapping” category has over 10,000 of those. Are you into “double fisting?” It’s right fucking there.
That’s not all. Where the thumbnails stop, the list continues. And it really fucking continues! Under the banner ad, you’ll find a list that rivals the biggest porn sites on the fucking web! I mean it. There’s an “interview” category, where porn actors sit naked answering questions about the cocks they just guzzled! There are around 20,000 of those! You can spend your entire life jacking off to literally every category since new videos are being uploaded by the thousands every day.
Unlike many sites that use video previews when you hover over the thumbnails, Alohatube.com shows a slideshow of pictures. It’s not as good as a video, but it’s better than nothing, right? Rather than going to another site, you can see whether you’ll actually want to risk that barrage of ads.
The world’s sluttiest
It’s always great to see a collection of the world’s finest whores. And again, I’m not talking about professional “actresses” here. When I say whore, I mean how your sexually frustrated aunt is probably a huge fucking whore. These girls are bonafide sluts who get off on uploading their sexual escapades online. And there are fucking thousands of them!
And the most beautiful thing? Shameless sluts are a universal phenomenon. There are at least 10 sluts for every village, 100 sluts for every town, and 1000 sluts for every city, and those are just the ones who are open about it! Today, we go to the south of Asia, where the bitches are as hot as the food!
So you thought Indian girls were too prude to upload themselves getting railed to the internet? Oh, my naive friend, there are shameless sluts in more places than you can imagine.
These girls are something else! Do you want to know how many Indian sluts are wild enough to upload themselves online? Well, currently, around 108,501. By tomorrow, who knows how far that number can go! If you’re looking to bust your load to some beautiful brown pussy, I challenge you to jerk off to all the Indian content uploaded tomorrow! Good luck! Trust me; you will need it.
Don’t worry; it’s not just your aunt that loves to upload her snatch. Thousands of amateur porn actors are also being uploaded to Alohatube.com every day. So, if you’ve got a thing for sexy melanated Asian girls, you will have the time of your fucking life!
Some of these girls are fucking wild! They’re not just videos of a girl bashfully letting her boyfriend lay on her. No, some of these girls are going throat-deep on their fucking relatives! I saw a video where a guy hid a camera while he fucked his college roommate! Does that girl know she’s on the internet where everyone can see she’s a total slut? Who knows? What’s important is that she can really fuck!
What was good
The amount of videos on this site is fucking outrageous. By the time you’ve finished this blog, there are probably a couple of hundreds of videos waiting for you to bust to. Alohatube.com is like a fucking search engine for the world’s most desperate sluts. It’s fucking glorious.
What wasn’t so good
The problem with porn aggregator sites is that, while the site itself doesn’t have any issues, the websites they link to might break your computer if you’re not careful. It’s a bad time for users using shitty laptops from 2010; these sites’ ads will mess your device up. So, beware. Make sure you’re not trying to jerk off to someone’s sister on your shitty iPhone 4. It will freeze. And also, that’s fucking disrespectful.
Tips from ThePornDude
There are so many fucking categories! I would love to see a tag system. That way, in addition to browsing the videos in the “Stranger” category, I can browse “Strangers” with “Big Tits.” That would be fucking phenomenal!
There’s also an option to search videos by “top-rated,” but there’s no way to know the video’s rating. There’s no star system, no thumbs up/ thumbs down, nothing. I’m basically just taking your word for it. Do the developers just list the videos based on those they’ve jacked off to the most? I want to know how good these videos are before I see them!
Conclusion
Alohatube.com has some of the best amateur content I’ve seen in a while. Their simple design is just perfect, considering what they are. They don’t aim to be anything more than a hotspot for the world’s most desperate whores.
If you’re looking for unlimited content of any category you can ever dream of, Alohatube.com is one of the best places to stop by. The sheer volume and variety of amateurs and normal sluts is fucking staggering. You really might find someone you know on here! Have fun, you animal!
